Jan 4, 2014

Focusing on Marriage in 2014



My goal this year is to simplify everything in our home, life, work...so that my priority is on spending more time with my husband. Speaking with many women around my age who are married, I've learned that there is a common denominator to why marriages can turn cold or apathetic: couples simply don't spend enough time together. They have other priorities on their to do lists, some are worth their attention while others are not. I believe that simplifying things frees up more time for one to devote to enjoying to company of one's spouse.

I am taking this simplification bit rather seriously. We have no car ( no need for one) so save lots of money from what we would need to spend on that. We have 1 phone we share between us and with ( get this) no plan on it, it's pay as you go or wifi only ( generally the latter). We share an office as well as most of our electronics, there is no mine and his. In fact our Christmas presents this year were in general to be shared between the two of us.

Yeah we might just be weirdos ( probably are) but we just love spending time with eachother. It's just that years of overwork when Billy was working in L.A. and later in Korea pushed us apart. That plus having a child strains a marriage, whether one likes to accept that or not. Now Kaya is older and we have simplified things to what we really need, we are starting to plot date nights and time for just the two of us amidst working from home and homeschooling.

This year, I want the dates nights scheduled in the calendar. I want to be able to have meals ready for Billy ( unless he is whipping something up in the kitchen for us) and want him to feel really appreciated and wanted, as well as cared for. He does so much for us.

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19 comments:

  1. That is a beautiful goal. When it comes right down to it, nothing else really matters.
    Debbie
    www.fashionfairydust.blogspot.com

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  2. I definitely agree that spending time together has to be prioritized! My husband and I love just hanging out--but even lately, with so much time spent with relatives...we prioritize spending time with family because our family is not always around, but I miss dates, too!

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  3. I love that last paragraph! This is a great goal. I think when it comes to marriage, it's a good better best situation. There may be other things worthy of our time, but our marriage needs to be such a priority that putting it all away--for even a half hour--is worth every bit of effort.

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  4. I love how close your whole family is! I think it is wonderful! I am glad that my husband and I have so many common interests--it makes it easier to spend time together (playing video games, going on walks, playing sports, cooking with each other).

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  5. I also love how close you are. So nice! And children can definitely add a wedge between a couple. I look forward to following you as the year progresses.

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  6. What a great goal for the new year. You're right, it's definitely more difficult to bond with your man after kiddos are involved. Sometimes I sit and try to remember what it was like when we had seemingly tons more time to be together before our babies arrived, and somehow still felt like we didn't have couple time. I'd love for you to share some of your date night ideas here!

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  7. Elizabeth, you are such a good wife and momma. Right now, with all the stress that comes with buying a house, and working away from home, and being on night shift and day shift, we are SO on opposite ends of the spectrum. Like you, I need to make that extra effort [even when all I really want to do is shut him out] to appreciate him, and show him just how much I adore him. Girl, you make it look easy ;)

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  8. I applaud you on your goal, it is definitely hard these days to remain connected. Wishing you much success!!

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  9. I hear you on the date nights, my husband and I were just talking about making sure we have more of them ourselves this year (especially before baby #2 gets here!)

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  10. What great goals. And I love how you've structured your lives. Sadly I would NEVER be able to get my husband on board. He is hooked to tech devices. :/ I think our main goal would be to have less screen time, but it's just hard to get someone else to go along with that! But the days when there is less and more attention spent on each other are golden.

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  11. Happy New Year Elizabeth! You hit the nail right on the head (for me) in that first paragraph! Best of luck with your plans this year.

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  12. My husband & I became empty nesters 6 mos. ago. It was at that point that I truly came to appreciate that we had always made time to spend with each other when we were raising our kids. I have discovered he is my best friend & it was the wisest investment into our relationship. Now that we are again "alone", it is wonderful to discover that we enjoy one another as much if not more than we ever have. I visited from The Naptime Review this morning :)

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us!! And you were smart to make sure you two spent ample time together when the kids were young, it's just so important for creating a foundation for a long term happy marriage!

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  13. Thanks so much for following Saved by Grace! May you and your husband and family have all blessings in 2014 and beyond!
    Laurie

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  14. I love this post so much. I completely agree - I have heard of so many marriages that fizzle out just because the people in them feel like they are living two separate lives. I love that you plan on spending so much more time with your husband. You guys will have a great 2014!

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  15. I love this. This is a goal of mine as well. <3

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  16. I love this resolution,more of us should strive for things like this!

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  17. I would love to visit there! It look so peaceful and beautiful!

    PS-nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog!

    XO

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  18. After ten years of not guarding that together time well, I agree that spending time together must be important to a great marriage (since ours has been not great more often than not!). I have made it a priority for this year, as well - we've already been on two dates (two!!!) this month which is more than in the last 3 years put together. I know. And it was such a breath of fresh air to our relationship, just to remember the care-freer days when we were just excited to know each other!

    What an encouraging and beautiful post! Thank you for sharing. :)
    ~Lisha

    PS A dear friend of mine spend 3 months in Phuket with YWAM last year...she shared her photos with me - it's a stunning place!

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